Read My Mind…

You may say my lips are full.

I acknowledge and embrace this trait

Because with these lips,

I am able to “full”y express my sensuality

With the slightest kiss.

And whether I choose to wear my hair kinky or straight,

I know that there could be no more evident proof

That versatility and style do exist.

I wear them well.

And no, my thickness don’t define me;

Though at times it shelters burdens and insecurities

That you may never fully comprehend.

Just know that I will continue to walk my walk

And though you may not always understand my words;

Understand that through my words;

Comes self expression.

I am entitled to be me after all.

Just know that I will continue to talk my talk.

And though at times even I may see my skin as a burden,

Ultimately I realize that I am bold

I am beautiful

I am strong

I am fierce

I am woman

And yes, I am BLACK

Just know that I will continue to be all that I was empowered to be.

And I will aspire to inspire my daughter to do the same.

I love being me!

My girls are all grown up now;

31 yrs of age

and you’d never even know they were twins.

You would expect them to have their own personalities,

as they do,

but that was not always the case.

For many years they were inseparable;

thinking, acting and even re-acting the same.

I had my last child 8 years ago

which seemed to trigger their transitions.

Once that little girl was born

they went from having an utterly hard exterior

to complete and total softies.

One is now more reserved,

while the other craves attention.

They are both rather emotional though

and were so in tune with my youngest when she was still a newborn

that on more than one occasion they would cry at the sound of her 8lb 6oz whimper.

But like I said, they are both all grown up now

and off to conquer this world in different directions.

Looking out among the states from afar

one is looking straight ahead towards Colorado,

the other wanting to settle and make a new start slightly Southeast,

in Alabama, near the Tennessee border.

If I had it my way

they would live in adjoining states,

side by side,

To allow them to stay connected

but have enough room to breath as well.

I lost that battle though

8 years back.

Now I am resolved to expressing my innermost thoughts

and insecurities in an ode………

to my asymmetrical

BREASTS!

So, anyone who knows me, knows that I am a creature of habit. I write based on what is either going on in my life or what I see around me. If you did not know this, now you do, so consider yourself enlightened. But going back through all my writings there is usually a fairly accurate timeline of what I have been up to or going through if you simply read between the lines. I have to make you think a little, can’t just give it to you plain and dry so pay attention.  Anyways, the piece I am about to share with you was also inspired by an actual event that took place a few nights ago. In this instance I think that it would make more since if I lay the ground work for you, then lead into the poem so here goes nothing. I gave my number out to someone. They called me one night. A few days later I sent a  text to them just being friendly and the response I got at exactly 11:37PM on July 19th was this: “Who this”…and so begins my poetic personification:

Tell me how can it be that you don’t know me, when I reach out to you

When just a few days ago, YOU called me and we chopped it up for a good hour or two?

Now you wanna play dumb and respond with a text asking me who I am

When I was just following up with you, but really could give a good goddamn

But I guess when you’re a “Gfella” you got it like that, and keep ‘em lined up at your feet

And since I’m just a “good girl” from around the way let me make it clear, I’m not here to compete

I thought that we were just playin catch up but I can see that I was wrong

So go ahead and call the next female and let her hear this song:

The one with the messed up melody that skips all over the place

The one that has so many hits, but only on MySpace

The one you think will lead to fame if placed in the right hands

The one that came from within your soul that no one understands

So play that tune for her, boo. Play it loud and clear

Cuz I stopped listening when you asked who I was, so the beat never entered my ear

Since it doesn’t look like I will be making it back to Open Mic night at Illusions this week, I decided to post the poem I wrote after I went last week on here. Maybe someday soon I will be able to get up on the mic and recite it. I, of course had to title it “New Shit” as that is what the crowd chants when you tell them you have a new piece for them. Hope you enjoy:

So last week I struggled to even get out my seat

For fear of coming up here and having to repeat…

Myself

So yes it’s true I’m a virgin (in here) and this is still actually, really

Well, pretty much STILL SCARY

I mean, is it normal to have a room full of strangers wanting to pop your cherry?

I don’t know, I’m just sayin. I’m not use to all eyes on me

Kinda make me feel like that scene from Color Purple when Miss Shug was singin to Celie

So I wrote a poem with no substance this time

Figured the least I could do was get up here and make words rhyme

When your inexperienced, jumpin in is the hardest thing to do; to put yourself on display

And that from the words may come someone who finds favor in what you have to say

But I ruined that for everyone cuz I told you I wasn’t talking about shit

But this wasn’t really about yall, it was about me and my fear to get up here and spit

See I’ma behind the scenes kinda female, a silent poet, and single mom

If you really wanna get inside my head, check me out on Seconya.com

Now I hadn’t planned on pluggin myself but figured since I had your attention

That while I was soliciting my apprehension, that I would just give that a mention

Though I’m sure I didn’t knock it out the park, I came pretty close in my eyes

But doubt I’ll be up here too much longer cuz sweat is now beginning to trickle down my thighs

So to the Neo Soldiers who rocked the mic this night and that, thank you for your valuable insight

And to The lady he calls Juicy, (can we talk after the show?) I might need to borrow him tonight?

But in all honesty, for my first time this was actually quite pleasant

But best believe I’ma be knockin on your door if it turns out my ass is pregnant.

She was addicted to what the dick did, ‘til the dick did too much

Had her Y-Double S- UP tender to the touch

A fat cat is not the biz’ness, she gone be on blocks for a short while

This nigga had her sittin on ice packs; crampin her style

She had to let that Beast out to go find him another Beauty

Cuz she’s lacking the patience and sick time to nurse a swollen cootie

She’s thinking she learned her lesson and won’t do that shit no more

And thankful she didn’t let that nigga come in through the back door

Big dicks ain’t always best it seems

Cuz that mothafucka was damn near close to wreckin her dreams

Of ever being a mother and fulfilling her destiny

Glad he came with a quickness or she might have lost a damn kidney

She is determined to down-size but can’t work with an itty bitty

She had one of those before, smaller than the nipple on her left titty

He tried to get in there and she tried to play cool

But his ass wasn’t doin shit but lookin like a damn fool

So on to the next one who tried to bust her wide open

Now she’s on the prowl again, wishin and a hopin

To find the one with that magic stick to bring her to her knees

And know that when he enters her, it’ll be with the greatest of ease

His touch will be tender, his lips will be soft

His hands will know just how to take her clothes off

He won’t try to rush it, he’ll know how to wait

He’ll be what she needs of him; the perfect soul mate

Have you ever met someone you just couldn’t quite figure out?

Not that it matters, but their sexual orientation is what I’m talking about.

In your mind you’ve determined that they could go either way;

Though they’ve never fully stated whether they’re heterosexual or gay.

With each conversation you grow more and more confused

But you can’t very well just ask them if they like females or dudes

So you continue to listen, hoping for some minor clue

But once you know for certain, then what do you do?

The day finally comes when the question is answered

And you’re thinking to yourself if the media should be sequestered

But your friendship is not based on this detail alone

You got what you wanted, they threw you a bone

So whether you gnaw on that information or just chomp at the bit

Eventually you begin to question why you even wanted to know that shit

Is it possible in your mind that you’re intrigued or even fascinated?

But scared of the reality that you might somehow be affiliated?

But what concern is it of yours, that what others think even matters

It’s doubtful that their judgement would cause your world to shatter

Still you take a step back to assess the situation

And realize the outcome with no hesitation

A friend is a friend whether gay or straight

And anyone who says different obviously can’t relate

But the fact still remains that I am true to the end

And I am thankful for having the opportunity to be blessed with this friend!